Paul Blart: Mall Hell can't stop us now
by Wirtsleg
Summary: Children have gone missing in Paul's mall. Paul stumbles on a terrible secret cult and must face his fears. Disclaimer: not for the faint of Blart


Disclaimer: not for the faint of blart...

Paul Blart Mall Hell can't stop me now

It is a dark and somber night as Paul closes down the mall. His stands still, halting his perimiter check. A gallery of missing children lost in that mall , is beckoning his attention. Glancinging over in sympathy he siliently vows to get them home.

He exits the mall looking up at a bright red moon. it is unual yet inspiring. he reaches into cellphone clip to retrive his phone,wanting to capture this rare occurance... but he realizes his phone is gone

"Aww fudge, I left my phone in the office!" Guess I'll have to go back and get it.

He walks slowly to the back door of the mall with his head down low, chastising himself for his flaws. He reaches his office and sees his phone on the desk, he lets out a sigh and shugs his sore shoulders. Pouting in frustration he walks over and picks up the phone, clipping it back to his belt .

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHUHHHHH!" A blood currdling scream echos though the halls, making him jump, fiddling his keys he lands on his butt and kicks his legs, pushing his back against the wall.

His breath is absent, his heart beat reverbates into his throat and ears. Catching his breath he clinches his chest and looks up at the celing in panic, hesitant to investigate. Quietly he peeks his head out like a church mouse. He musters some courage, getting himself up and trys to pin point where the scream came from. a bright red glow shines from the distance. He picks up his segway and steadly makes his way to the mysterious crimson light. He delves deeper with the red light shining on his face and hears some creepy chanting.

"Hello? " whoevers down there , you not supposed to be here. were closed. ill be happy to escort you out.

The chanting continues and Paul inches his way forward with a flashlight and shivers. There are five cloaked men in shabby red cloth. thier hoods are long and cover their faces. Paul sees a demon emerging from a firey circle as the cloaked ones collapse to the ground Paul sheiks. stumbling his way up the stairs with great haste. he reaches for his segway hauling ass to get to his office.

Paul Blart is on his way out, the chanting is in rythym with his heartbeat. the salty sweat burning his eyes. He rubs his them stretching the skin of the eye lids. With eyes wide open all he sees is stars as he stumbles to catch his breath. In the corner of his eye he catches a small ethereal figure dancing. She is glowing blue and white with braided pigtails, and bangs to match her innocence, Paul inches closer with his head tilted to his side.

As he shuffles closer with wide eyes his fingers reach out to touch her. She grabs his sweaty hand and tugs . Her smile turns to a sinister grin ... " c'mon I want to show you something hehehe... " She says as she skips slowly dragging an exhausted mall cop behind.

What lies ahead is a long stair way, daughting, it is a harrowing task due to a broken escalator A small child kept playing on it earlier that day. That child... is... no longer with stops in his tracks. " You've gotta be kidding me, why is every ghost trying to kill me?" Drudging on wincing with every step. he finally ascends to the top. The glowing child runs up to the ledge and rests her arms on the rail. Her eyes grow in size, her tippy toes esccalate her forward. She points down at the fountain, illuminated by the moonlight.

Paul pulls out a milk chocolate candybar from his pocket, slowly undressing it. taking a much needed bite. Chewing on every delicious morsel he focuses on the shiny metal object the gorl had pointed to. Ominous in nature, it draws upon Paul's curiosity.

Th girl cleverly rips the heavenly confectionary from his hands and leaps to a fountainy death. Paul hustles down stairs , pausing only briefly to stroke his gums cleaning the peanuty, chocholate debri.

Approaching the fountain with his hands on his kneesHe lets out a sigh and lifts his leg cover the ledge. His body squeezes the tiny two foot ledge. His hand exstends to the cold still, rippled water to save his snack. Much like a sloth he plummet into the water,grasping candybar, he craddles it and perfoms CPR auntil nothing else remains. With a choclaty stained face and a slouching body he sees the shiny pendant. It is silver with a picture of the high seas. He examines the neckelace as water drips down staining the fountain blood red.

A large shadow is cast upon him as he looks up and sees this monstrocity hovering from above. Her face is smashed and caked with make up. She has blue eye shadow,and is cloaked in a shabby brown robe.

Paul makes adash for the food court , his natual instinct. he jumps over the counter of a fast food resteruant. hiding behind it. She hovers back and forth patroling the food court . Paul is terrified but he sees salvation in a back door.

Finally escaping mall hell, he learns the relief is merly an illusion, as he made a promise to bring the children home and put an end to all the evil plaguing his mall...

chapter2

Paul blart ventures back into the cellar, walking amoung the corpses he sees a dusty tome wide open with ancient script and a picture of the demon he witnessed with an origin story ...

"AVID "

"The immortal hunger of hell."

With a flashlight angled in one hand and the book wide open resting on the opposite palm he continues reading. An ominus bell tools he flicks his wrist showing 12 ocluck on his watch "Hmm 12oclock the Sandwitching hour." he says to him self.

"Man this book makes me hungry.

The bell continues to toll... and the demon stalks him, creeping slowly down the stairs. casting a shadow on the oblivious mallcop.

"I have you now." the demon whispers in his ear.

The books falls through his finger tips as he races his back and hands agianst the wall.

with his head turned wincing in fear.

Sighing " WAIT! Can I atleast make a call to my daugfhter?"

"As long as you dont call 911 okay?"

"Why would I call 911? they wouldn't believe me. You demons have no logicat all.

This inffuriates the demon, the demon charges Paul Blart and bashes his head against the wall, lifting his feet off the ground. Paul Blart appears to be in a daze as his life flashes before his eyes. mostly visions of food.

Regaining his composure, Paul shouts out "I DONT WANT TO DIE! i WANT TO EAT!" Kicking and struggling he wiggkles in the demons clutch.

The demon reaches toward Pauls chest. gliding his claws down the fabric, clinging down and tearing into his uniform, pulling out his life force.

It is a candybar that keeps his blood sugar in check Paul says "Please dont take that from me It's all I've got."

The demon laughs with malevalince and tears into the chocklaty peanut adornded nuget.

satisfiing his hunger his grip on paul blart lossens as pauls butt hits the floor

the demon rubs the back of his head looking at Paul Blart shyly, he says with a stagger

umm sorry about all this and being a dick, killing the children and whatnot."

"It's okay you were just hungry, it happens to me too."


End file.
